Do Moms Have a Harder Time Making Friends?

I think so. And so do many others over at Natural Moms Talk Radio.

Here's my response to their post. This basically sums up my thoughts:

I’m always struggling to make new friends. In one way, having a baby makes it easier to engage in small talk with other moms and say, “Hey, we both have little ones, let’s hang out.” But that’s only if I get the opportunity to actually talk to anyone!

I go to a playgroup every week and it’s just like the one described above–hectic. My one year-old son and I always arrive late so I miss out on all the conversations. Then I’m always chasing him as he tries to climb up chairs. I barely get to talk to anyone. Week after week we go to this playgroup and I still feel like a stranger to the group. I can’t help but feel like the outsider.

It’s so hard to break in. I don’t want to be melodramatic or paranoid, but I feel like they all hang out and leave us out. I mean, I remind myself that I go to playgroup primarily to expose my son to other kids but it’s as much for the moms, too. Hopefully I can actually talk to people when my son starts playing by himself.

I just feel like I'm dating again. "Does she like me? Can I ask for her number? Will we hang out? Is this (friendship) meant to be?"

As if I didn't have enough to worry about, now I need to make sure I have enough mama friends in my life. As for vegan mama friends... Yeah right! I'm not someone who holds a prerequisite that all my friends be vegan, but it would be nice to have someone to talk animal rights with. (I've met a great deal of vegan bitches/assholes who, while we share the same ethical views regarding animals, I would rather befriend a chair than deal with them for 10 minutes.) But it's just so hard to make new friends.

Any thoughts?

(Sorry if this post is rather jumpy... Keep in mind that it's almost 2 am! Bedtime is just around the corner...)

[Image via "Julie, Dave & Family" (Flickr)]

Licensed to Ill

I've got a sick kid on my hands and we all know there's nothing worse than that. (Well, nothing worse that can be considered ordinary.) He's such a doll, though, and is still smiling and playing games with me between throwing up. I don't know what to do. He can't eat (not that he ate much anyways) and all I can do is nurse him and give him water, which doesn't stay in his tummy. Blech. The countdown is on until I come down with this nasty bug...

Milo was fine yesterday up until last night. Why do viruses always strike before bedtime? Seriously. Are viruses nocturnal or something? I probably should be napping with him... and maybe I will...

Btw, my blogroll disappeared with the new layout and I haven't gotten around to adding everyone's blogs back. So don't think I hate you if your blog link disappeared.

Hello, I'm Awkward (Or How I Made Today Suck)

You're not supposed to have ambivalent feelings about being a mom. You're supposed to love every minute of it. You may complain at times, but you tell people you wouldn't have it any other way.

I love being a mom--don't get me wrong--but some days are just so dull.

Today Milo and I did nothing. We stayed in, as usual, and played with the same old toys. You see, I don't always have access to a car during the day. Couple this with the fact that it's cold outside and you have two house-bound people. It sucks.

And today he would not nap until three hours past his normal naptime. Spare me, child!

Most of all, what I think was worst about today was that we missed play group. Play group is our time to socialize with other babies and mamas. It's a much-needed thing, especially for someone like me who tends to be antisocial. (I'm not always, but sometimes I am.)

And we missed that today. Blah. I've come to the realization that to escape these doldrums I need to do the thing I dread--pick up the damn phone and call someone. I loathe the phone. It's just so awkward and I always feel that I'm annoying people. Email is better for convenience but then you risk not getting a response. Even though I often forget to respond to people, I hate when it happens to me. The only way to get a real-time response is to make that call. So here I go. Like a little kid I have to work up the nerve to dial the right number and sheepishly ask, "Hey... ummm... Do you want to, like, hang out or something?"

But if I don't do this, we'll be stuck in this same boring situation and it will suck ass because I'll know it's all my fault for not being assertive enough to change things. And both Milo and I will suffer the consequences.
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Disclaimer: OK, so I'm not nearly this bad with the phone, but I hate it nonetheless. See, I actually pick it up once in a while.

The Perils of Being Vegan

I've been vegan for almost nine years and my boyfriend hasn't eaten animal products for about seventeen years. My son, Milo, has been vegan since conception (though I did catch him trying to put dog food in his mouth, that lil sneak!). I try to not be angry all the time, but it's hard to remain happy and upbeat in the face of such cruelties. I don't understand why us humans do the things we do. Why is money the ultimate motivator? Why must compassion and humanity take a back seat to profits?

I'm currently reading "Farm Sanctuary: Changing Hearts and Minds About Animals and Food" by Gene Baur, co-founder of the sanctuary. (I worked at Farm Sanctuary in 2003--holla!) Even though I know much of what goes on in factory farming, it's always appalling to re-read case stories and the results of investigations. I cannot understand how any of this can happen. How could farming have gone so far astray from its roots of "pigmanship," cultivating the soil, and getting to know the animals?

I grew up in a rural county of Ohio and many of my friends grow up in farms--real farms--where the animals can actually walk around and experience life. Where the farmers are farmers--not corporations--who work to feed their families and provide for their communities.

I'm not an advocate of eating animal products, but these small-time farms were so much better than the confined animal feeding operations (CAFOs)/factory farms that dominate the industry today. I have no doubt that anyone (who isn't profiting from the bottom line) would be horrified if they witnessed modern farming today where animals are treated as machines.

Since I'm a breastfeeding mom, I have a unique bond with dairy cows. It's rough. I cannot stand to think about dairy cows and how the moms are impregnated only to have their baby calves taken away at birth. Instead of their milk going to their babies, it goes to humans, who, for some absurd reason, rely on the milk of another species. I can't imagine someone taking away my baby and then taking my milk to make a profit.

And... it just makes me angry. I try not to judge people, but when I read about all these cruelties I wonder how people can support these horrific industries. Farming is not what is was. Cows are not lounging in pastures, cracking jokes like on those ridiculous California Happy Cow commercials.

I don't want to be bitter, yet I don't want to forget the severity of the situation.

People ask me if being vegan is difficult. I say no. But on second thought, it is hard--not for the food--but for the truth you have to swallow.