6.17.2009

Do Moms Have a Harder Time Making Friends?


I think so. And so do many others over at Natural Moms Talk Radio.

Here's my response to their post. This basically sums up my thoughts:

I’m always struggling to make new friends. In one way, having a baby makes it easier to engage in small talk with other moms and say, “Hey, we both have little ones, let’s hang out.” But that’s only if I get the opportunity to actually talk to anyone!

I go to a playgroup every week and it’s just like the one described above–hectic. My one year-old son and I always arrive late so I miss out on all the conversations. Then I’m always chasing him as he tries to climb up chairs. I barely get to talk to anyone. Week after week we go to this playgroup and I still feel like a stranger to the group. I can’t help but feel like the outsider.

It’s so hard to break in. I don’t want to be melodramatic or paranoid, but I feel like they all hang out and leave us out. I mean, I remind myself that I go to playgroup primarily to expose my son to other kids but it’s as much for the moms, too. Hopefully I can actually talk to people when my son starts playing by himself.


I just feel like I'm dating again. "Does she like me? Can I ask for her number? Will we hang out? Is this (friendship) meant to be?"

As if I didn't have enough to worry about, now I need to make sure I have enough mama friends in my life. As for vegan mama friends... Yeah right! I'm not someone who holds a prerequisite that all my friends be vegan, but it would be nice to have someone to talk animal rights with. (I've met a great deal of vegan bitches/assholes who, while we share the same ethical views regarding animals, I would rather befriend a chair than deal with them for 10 minutes.) But it's just so hard to make new friends.

Any thoughts?

(Sorry if this post is rather jumpy... Keep in mind that it's almost 2 am! Bedtime is just around the corner...)


[Image via "Julie, Dave & Family" (Flickr)]

4 comments:

  1. I don't think it's just moms who have a hard time making friends. I haven't made any new friends since college, and even then it was only because they were my roommates!

    I kind of think it's easier for you because you have play groups to go to. Even if it's hectic, at least it's a social situation and you have somewhere to GO and be around people who like you. I don't have a way to really meet any friends.

    I really wish I had friends who lived closer.

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  2. Yeah, I totally see what you mean. I should change the title from "Harder" to just plain "Hard" because I know being a mom doesn't make it harder to make friends.

    It's just that you would think being a mom would make it so much easier to make friends. It makes it easier to socialize but it doesn't make it easier to make deep, lasting friendships--especially since I can rarely talk to a person for more than five minutes!

    I don't know how you make friends. For some people, it's easy. I notice that people gravitate towards certain people. I read somewhere that people want to be friends with someone who is outwardly confident and who acts without being worried what others think. Maybe this is true. I don't know.

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  3. Oh, and I wish I had friends who lived closer, too... (HINT. HINT.)

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  4. I guess it's just us who have a hard time!

    I don't know how you make friends. For some people, it's easy. I notice that people gravitate towards certain people. I read somewhere that people want to be friends with someone who is outwardly confident and who acts without being worried what others think. Maybe this is true. I don't know.

    I think that is kind of true. I'm thinking of some people who never have any trouble making friends, and this sounds like them! Key word is "act" without being worried.

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